New Years Eve 2011

Okay, I know it’s a little over two weeks into 2012 but I had to write a quick poem to commemorate New Year’s 2011. It was quite a night to say the least. Here it goes:

New Years 2011

New Year’s Eve

Twenty eleven

Got to the party

Two hours after seven

We had some fun

We were in heaven

On that night

in twenty eleven

 

Minutes to twelve

and we go outside

Made up a ball

With glitter

and fireworks

Clock strikes midnight

and we head to the door

and thats about when

We got more than we

bargained for

 

We were locked out

Locked out of the house

No one inside

Except maybe a mouse

 

One brave man

he got up the guts

to climb up a tree

to save the evening

 

fearful expressions

filled up our faces

as our hero

edged through narrow spaces

It took some time

locked windows

and that jive

but our hero got in

and we were all back inside

 

What an adventure

from two hours past seven

This was our new year

New Year’s Eve

Twenty Eleven

December

Had a little inspiration this morning/afternoon so I hashed out a quick poem. I kept with the month thing and kind of went from there. Anyways, here it is:

December

December, December

it’s too damn cold

I wanna stay inside

and hibernate

Wrap up in blankets

and turn up the heat

Don’t wanna go outside

not even for a while

it’s so cold out there

your teeth shatter

when you smile.

—

Holiday cheer

warms me up a bit

but by the end of the month

I’ll have enough of it

—

Holiday lights

shine so bright

Red, blue, and green

light up the

streets at night

—

December, December

the last month of the year

It’s cold, it’s warm

it’s filled with good cheer

and around the corner

quickly comes the New Year.

November

So it’s been a while. Had some writer’s block. A lack of inspiration at the moment. Things have gotten busy and I haven’t had much time to sit and think. But today I scratched out a quick poem about the month of November and the season change, etc. Might continue on with months or seasons, but time will tell what I do. Thursday probably will be a good day for an update so stay tuned.

 

November

Why are you so damn cold?

The chilly air hurts my bones

and makes me feel ten years older.

Sixties, fifties, forties, thirties–

and yes she gets colder.

The wind she blows

and the ice and snows

cars stuck in need of a tow–

Oh, November, how can you be so cold?

Finally, He Writes!

Okay, so my last project where I was going to, uh, What was I going to do again? I don’t remember, but anyways forget about that project. Things have returned to normal. Food and Leathermans will remain a focus although I’m thinking things will be a bit more random. No boundaries this time. Just straight up mind flow with no restrictions. Another random bit of information: Inspiration provided by the great Shock G- I was listening to the album Sex Packets when a spark lit something- enough talk, enjoy:

 

Untitled

I can’t take it

This mess I’m in

I cut off my legs

now I’m a nugget

Can’t go to work

I tried and said fuck it

This thing I have

How far will I lug it?

C’mon baby

don’t be shy tug it

——

I’m the kind of guy

who loses his mind

thinking up crazy thoughts

looking around to find it

Searchin’ thru the trash

through chicken bones and other shit

Oh man, how long will it

take me to find it?

——

My mind’s better lost

I have not yet found it

I deal with it

The nightmares and that shit

Haven’t been dreamin’

My soul’s been lost

Can I get a break?

How much will it cost?

——

Raise myself up

and dust myself off

and don’t forget to

cover your mouth

when you cough

Don’t spread no germs
Don’t spread no disease

I ain’t got no insurance

so stay away from me please

——

Man I’m crazy

I don’t know what I’m sayin’

And if I pissed you off

You know I’m just playin’

I think I better lie down

If ya know what I’m sayin’.

Customer Service

Okay, so I haven’t really done much with good ol’ Project H here. I’ve been in a real shitty mood lately and have felt very uninspired, even with all the great leafage. Today, I bring you a quick little one I find appropriate for the Halloween season. I call it Customer Service-

Customer Service

Fuck this shit!

I’ll do it Later!

Arrrgghhhh!!

May I take your order?

Brain Burgers, hold the piss

Finger fries, nails removed

Anything else?

I said fuck this shit

I’ll piss in your food

I’ll fuck your shit up

if I’m in a bad mood

You come back here

and make it yourself

I’ll show you the grill

and the fires from hell

Cut you up into pieces

and grind you into bits

You’ll make burgers so tasty

I’ll need an after-dinner mint

Customer Service is what I do

First you tell me

what you want

then I go and serve you

Announcement: Project H Begins

Leatherman tools and food just aren’t doing the trick right now. I’m going to write some darker stuff now- just to warn everyone, it may be violent and twisted at times, so if you have a weak stomach, avoid reading. Otherwise, enjoy my new stuff when I churn it out. Also, I’m not killing my previous projects, rather, I am putting them on hold. Project H will now commence!

Coffee

I had to write something about my cat’s unhealthy obsession with coffee. I’m aware that it is bad for him, but you can’t even set a cup down with him locating it and lapping up a drop or two and sometimes (dammit) knocking over the cup and spilling it. So here it is, my food/drink related poem for the day:

Coffee

I like coffee

It wakes me up

Nothing like starting your day

With a nice, big cup

I like it black

And with sugar and cream

I like the White Chocolate Mocha

It tastes like a dream.

Well I like coffee

But there’s someone else too

He’s fuzzy, black and white-

You’ll never guess who

He’s my wonderful cat

and he’s a coffee fiend

when that scent hits his nose

you better watch your cup

’cause that bastard’ll tip it over

and lick it all up.

He’ll go crazy for an hour

and then go to sleep

While I sit there angry

and ready to weep.

I like my coffee

and my cat likes it too

to him it is forbidden

something taboo

To me it is a treat

Something I enjoy

So I hold fast onto my cup

And keep my eye

On the one

I call

Naughty Boy

Lost my Leatherman

So I went out to a concert on Saturday night and long story short I lost my Leatherman Micra. It sucks but I wrote a poem about it. It’s a little quickie I wrote again.

Lost my Leatherman

Went out to a show

not too long ago

it was Pretty Lights so

you know I had to go-

…and let me tell ya

it was a great show

But when I came in the door

Security was on the floor

they patted me down

I emptied my pockets

I wanted to get inside

I was ready to rock it

But oh man I was a fool

I had on my keychain a little weapon

and it was a leatherman tool

A micra to be exact

They took it away

and said I could get it back

Party time and later

I went to reclaim my tool

They lied and kept it

I guess I was again the fool

for trusting these guys

that lied and stole

my Leatherman tool.

Spaghetti

I find it easiest to write a quick poem if I’m actually going to make or have already eaten the food I’m thinking about putting together. Or whatever. Here’s a little quickie I wrote. I call it Spaghetti.

Spaghetti

Spaghetti, Spaghetti

toss it in the air

like confetti

Top it off with sauce

and call it a meal

Spaghetti, sauce

Meat and Cheese

Now that sounds

like a good deal

I like spaghetti

I eat it a lot

Complex carbohydrates

is what its got

Boil up some water

and throw it in a pot

It’s so easy to make

I almost forgot

Spaghetti is good

Spaghetti is real

Mix it up with meat,

sauce and cheese

And spaghetti makes

a great meal.

DJ Lunchmeat & MC Bologna

Okay, so I’m trying out this concept with a rap crew or whatever called the Cold Cut Crew. So far it consists of DJ Lunchmeat who rocks the rhyme and lays down the beat, and MC Bologna who rocks the rhyme. This is kind of a work in progress, like a project within a project. But it’s food related so I thought it would be fitting just to throw in. Here it is-

DJ Lunchmeat & MC Bologna (v. 1.0)

DJLM- Now we don’t sound

like any crew you heard

MCB- We don’t cuss, we don’t kill,

and we don’t flip the bird

DJLM- We keep it fresh, we keep it real,

we are the number one preffered

Both- We’re the Cold Cut Crew, the best you’ve ever heard

DJLM- I’m DJ Lunchmeat

I lay the freshest beats

And when I’m not rhymin’

I lay the freshest meats

Makin’ sandwiches every day

on white or wheat

Now let me pass the mic

on to my emcee–

MCB- They call me Bologna

when I rock the rhyme

And when I’m not on the mic

it should be a crime.

But when I’m not up here

bein’ oh so fly

I talk loads of bologna

all the time.

Talkin lots of jazz

just to make a buck.

Sometimes I feel bad

takin’ their cash

Sometimes I just don’t give a fu-

Forget about that

I should be rockin’ the rhyme

Me and Lunchmeat

Walkin’ the line.

Both- We are the Cold Cut Crew

We have the freshest beats

And the way we rock the rhyme

Is really sweet

So turn up your stereo

and give us a whirl

‘Cause our funky fresh style

is out of this world.